Sunday, September 16, 2018

BSC #59: Mallory Hates Boys (and Gym)




Tagline: Boys and gym. What a disgusting combination!

Mallory has never been a sports person. in fact, you could say gym is her least favourite subject. But now Mal's worst subject has turned into an absolute nightmare. Gym class has gone co-ed!

Mal feels totally gross in her ugly, oversized gym suit. And once they boys find out she can't play volleyball, they decide to make her life miserable.

Mal's always hated gym. But she's beginning to hate boys even more!

Right away, we're thrown into the busy pandemonium that is the Pike household. Mrs Pike tries to kick everyone outside, which is good because Mallory invited Ben Hobart over for a study session, but the quiet ends up being short-lived when the boys all come back in the house to bother Mallory and tease her about her ~*~boyfriend~*~. This leads to Mallory and Ben relocating to the Hobart residence, where Mallory was treated to a nice quiet household, younger brothers who do their own thing away from her and Ben, and homemade chocolate cake. Ben assures Mallory that it's not always like this, but Mallory sees the Hobart residence as heaven.

Things kick off though when Mallory goes back to school, and it's time to start a new unit in gym class. To Mallory's horror, not only is it volley-ball, but it's being done co-ed with the boys' gym class. At first, Mallory tries to stay home from school, but the rest of her siblings want to jump on the bandwagon, so that ends things quickly. Next, Mallory decides she's going to pretend to faint in the changeroom, just before class, so she won't even have to change. But then she gets nervous, waits too long, and "faints" with no witnesses. The phys. ed. teacher just tells her to haul her butt out into the gym.

The good news is that the teams are picked at random, so Mallory doesn't have to worry about one of her classmates deliberately picking her last. Unfortunately, once the game gets started, things go very very bad. The athletic boys on the opposing team purposefully target the ball right at her, and she keeps ducking or running away. A boy on her team tries to get the ball in her stead, but ends up plowing into Mallory when she doesn't get out of the way fast enough. Her gym teacher keeps yelling out advice to Mallory, but Mallory just feels even more singled out and targeted. All in all, it's an absolutely miserable experience for her.

Mallory's day doesn't get any better when she shows up at the Newtons for a baby-sitting job. Mrs Newton warns Mallory that Jamie's been acting up lately, but Mallory assures her that everything is going to be okay. Unfortunately, it isn't, and Jamie spends the whole time being a brat. He breaks all his crayons and throws them at Lucy's bedroom door while she's napping, claiming he's making "rockets". Then he screams that he wants to call and hang out with his friend, which wakes up Lucy. Then while Lucy's getting changed, Jamie runs off and hides, frightening Mallory. Eventually Mallory finds him, and they get into a juvenile insult match, before Jamie starts running around the house again. He eventually knocks over a vase, and then cuts himself on one of the glass shards. As Mallory tries to clean him up, Jamie fights and screams, acting more like Mallory's trying to amputate his finger than put a band-aid on it.!

Meanwhile, Jessi has her own baby-sitting woes with her siblings, in particular Squirt, who's being a handful. This leads Mallory to the come to the conclusion that all boys are awful! This is further reinforced during her next gym class, where things aren't any better. She gets clobbered in the face by the ball, and while the boy who served it apologizes, Mallory's had enough. She snaps at him, she snaps at her gym teacher, and gets sent off the court for the rest of class. Mallory goes home where her mom leaves her in charge of her siblings, because she has to pick up Margo from school. The boys annoy Mallory, and she runs to her room to wallow in despair.

Mallory eventually comes to the conclusion that if she benches herself, she won't have to play volley-ball. At first, she has an internal conflict, warring over her need to be good and have an unblemished school record, but eventually she decides to go through with it. It leads to her getting detention. Mallory muses that this might be the start of her descent into a life of mischief and crime, but ultimately decides that detention isn't so bad when she realizes that she can do her homework in peace and quiet, completely undisturbed. No volley-ball and time to do homework? This seems like a win to Mallory, until she's told that her parents will receive a written notification about her detention. This leads Mallory deciding that she'll just have to commit mail fraud and intercept the mail every day for the next few weeks, until the volley-ball unit and all her detentions are over.

At the next Club meeting, Mallory declares in front of everyone (including Logan, who was attending the meeting) that boys are pains and that they are no good. She mentions that Logan and Ben may be the exceptions (Ben waited after school for Mallory, even though her detention), but that overall, boys sucked. Later, Jessi tries talking to Mallory, saying that she's just equating boys with her hatred for volley-ball. Mallory insists that they're one and the same: boys love volley-ball, so volley-ball is horrible just like boys. When Jessi tries to tell Mallory that she likes volley-ball, Mallory stubbornly ignores her.

Eventually, Mallory sits for the Hobart boys, and realizes that they're perfectly fine. She then comes to the conclusion that it's because they're foreign, and that there must be something about the way Stoneybrook raises children that's adversely affecting the boys. Mallory eventually decides it's because of phys. ed., and how much importance is placed on boys and sports and winning. Mallory keeps contemplating all this while the Hobart boys calmly watch a martial arts film. Eventually Ben returns home, and is surprised at how good his brothers are being. Mallory cannot believe him, and keeps telling him how she'd trade brothers with him any day.

It comes to Mallory's attention that by constantly sitting out phys. ed., she runs the risk of failing, so she decides to try volley-ball again. Her teammates don't greet her warmly, and eventually Mallory gives up again. Instead of barking out encouragement, her teacher tries to actually talk to Mallory about what's going on. However, she ends up just further creating resentment in Mallory by equating quitting volley-ball in gym class to being a failure in life, and Mallory just doubles down on her detentions. Since clearly detention isn't a deterrent for Mallory, she instead gets assigned to wash all the pinnies from the phys. ed. classes using the washing machines in the home ec. room. This humiliates Mallory, as she has to keep the classroom door open, and everyone in her class stops by to tease her.

So things continue, with the Club members having trouble with the boys they sit for, and Mallory having trouble with phys. ed. class and the boys in her class. Then Mallory forgets to get the mail, and her parents finally find out about the detention. Her mom sits down and talks to Mallory, and Mallory breaks down crying, explaining everything. Her mom talks her through things, and Mallory realizes how good it feels to cry and get it all out and to stop trying to act so tough. She promises her mother to talk to her teacher and actually try volley-ball.

So Mallory talks to her teacher, and although her teacher isn't willing to make someone sit out and give Mallory pointers, she does offer to talk to the boys' gym teacher and have them lay off Mallory a bit. She points out that in terms of game strategy, they're playing exactly right, but that she can see how it's getting on Mallory's nerves and making her life miserable. Mallory survives the last 4 sessions of volley-ball, but is ultimately happy when it's over. Unfortunately for her, she now has to worry about getting impaled by arrows, as they're doing archery next and it's still with the boys. However, unlike volley-ball, there's a sense of order and precision to archery. Because of the high risk factor, everything has to be done on command: everyone shoots together, everyone retrieves together. Also: everyone was on even ground, because it was everyone's first time doing archery. Because of how few people could shoot at a time, Mallory gets lots of time to watch people and absorb the instructions and think about it. When she goes to shoot, she finds she can't even draw back the string, but her teacher then gives her a smaller bow. With a lighter bow, Mallory is actually able to shoot, and is actually pretty good at it! By the end of class, Mallory has a bull's-eye, and her teacher asks her to try out for the school's archery team!

Mallory then spends time agonizing over whether she should even bother trying out. Eventually, she does and predictably makes the team. When she gets home, she finds that her brothers had baked a cake for her and written "Congratulations Mallory" on it (well, as best they could haha). This proves to Mallory that maybe boys and gym aren't all bad all  the time.

The "subplot" in this one is all of Mallory's wanting to switch brothers with Ben coming to fruition. They switch brothers for one night. Mallory's expecting a night of peace, but what she gets is terror. First, the boys are really excited about bunk beds and sharing one room for all of them. They've always wanted bunk beds, and sharing one room made it seem even more like a sleepover party. Then Mallory introduces them to the rec room, which they interpret as the "wreck" room, and get excited about a place they're allowed to make a mess in (they have a living room and a den at their place). The girls get really excited about their guests, and teach the boys all about jumping up and down on furniture, which is something they apparently don't do at their home. The Pike household also had all sorts of games and things that the Hobarts weren't used to, and they weren't used to sitting at such an unusual dining space for dinner. (The Hobarts have a dining table that seats 6: their parents at either end, with two boys on each side on their own chair; the Pikes have a long table with bench-like seating, almost like a giant indoor picnic table.) Then with so many "siblings" to distract them, the boys couldn't settle for bed, and the girls were excited for new guests, and they tried telling scary stories and having one giant slumber party in the boys' room. Mallory cannot believe it, and can't wait to swap back with Ben. The night-time doesn't get any better, as the boys can't sleep all in the same room and bunk beds prove to be too distracting for them. Eventually Ben calls Mallory and asks if she wants to swap back. Mallory is expecting Ben to tell her how terrible her brothers were, but he says they were perfect guests and tells her about all the special things they did together. It makes Mallory realize that boys are boys, and to appreciate her own siblings a bit more.

Random Thoughts:
  • I don't remember liking this one. At all. I also get this one and Mallory on Strike mixed up. 
  • I like how right on the first page, Mallory goes into her rec room, declares that it's pandemonium, and proceeds to repeat herself because "no one had paid any attention to me the first time". It's such a childish thing to do!
  • I always like when the ghost writers take time to single Byron out as being quieter, more sensitive, not as athletic as the other two triplets.
  • This book always makes me glad I only had one sibling, and that we were far enough apart in  age that I never saw him! It also makes me very very very glad I live alone now!
  • Also: thanks to Mallory gushing over Mrs Hobart's homemade chocolate cake, now I want chocolate cake! The problem is: I'm not generally a fan of chocolate cake, so there's no point in my buying or baking an entire cake just for myself! haha
  • In my middle school, we were allowed to wear our own clothes for phys. ed. class. In high school, we were given school t-shirts that we were expected to wear (the t-shirts came in 4 colours, and were evenly distributed, so it was a quick and easy way to always establish teams) but we could wear whatever we wanted on the bottom. I can't imagine having a standardized gym uniform. I felt ugly and awkward enough doing phys. ed., and I got to wear whatever I wanted!
    • That being said, unlike Mallory, I always loved volley-ball. It was the sport I was best at (which really isn't saying much haha)! In middle school, our phys. ed. classes were segregated, but volleyball was one of the units we did together due to the limited amount of nets you could set up in the half-gym (in the half-gym, you only got 2 nets [one in each half, so each gym class would only have one court to play on]... in the full gym, you could get 3!)
  • As annoying as Mallory's whining and moaning is, I have to admit, it's probably fairly realistic. I was fairly over-dramatic as a preteen/teen (I still am!) and I definitely was not the biggest fan of phys. ed.
    • Her pretending to faint reminds me of how she pretended (and then actually did!) sprain her ankle to get out of the Sports Festival thing.
  • Mallory notices that Jamie is acting up, deduces that he's probably feeling jealousy or resentment towards Lucy... but she still then goes on to gush about Lucy and talk about Lucy and be like, "OMG JAMIE, LUCY HAS CHANGED SO MUCH SINCE I LAST SAW HER, THIS IS GREAT!" Like, wow, baby-sitter of the year here haha
    • Again, this just served to remind me how much I'm glad I don't have children and that I live alone! haha
  • As juvenile and stubborn as Mallory is being, she actually does somewhat have a point about the way boys are taught in phys. ed. and how girls are taught in phys. ed. It's part of this toxic masculinity that makes boys feel like they have to be the strongest and the winningest at everything.
  • I hate however how when Jessi says she doesn't mind volley-ball, Mallory is a jerk to her and just insists that Jessi is being crazy and has taken one too many balls to the head.
  • I think part of what makes the Hobarts act up at the Pike household and the Pikes behave in the Hobart household is how the households are. It's hard to see yourself as a guest when it's a house full of children and the Pikes are clearly lackadaisical about child-rearing, whereas the in the Hobart household, everything is quiet and calm, so the Pike boys are able to better see themselves as guests and behave accordingly. Furthermore, Mrs Hobart made them a special dinner and they ate in a dining room, further reinforcing their status as guests. This is even lampshaded by Matthew telling Ben, "We had a great time. They have bunk beds and you can do whatever you want here."
  • I have always wanted to do archery. I think I might do it this year! I'm sure I'll be terrible haha
  • I can sympathize with Mallory not wanting to try out for the archery team. I spent my childhood and adolescence believing that I was terrible at sports (and while I generally wasn't great, I wasn't terrible either; I mostly lacked confidence. There were a few sports I enjoyed that if I had had more self-confidence and put more effort into, I probably would've been pretty good at!), and so that meant I could never do anything even remotely athletic. At all. It's taken a few years, but I now actually enjoy physical activity! I'm still not great at it, and I would definitely never call myself an athlete, but it's something I can do and feel proud of myself for.
  • We of course, never hear about Mallory doing archery ever again. Never.

Sunday, September 2, 2018

BSC #58: Stacey's Choice


Tagline: This is one choice Stacey's going to have to make by herself.

Since Staacey's parents got divorced it hasn't been easy. Stacey hates being put in the middle of them. And even though she gets to see her dad often, Stacey misses him. Sometimes she wishes she were just a regular kid with a regular family.

But now both of her parents are depending on Stacey. They each need her - badly. And she can't be in Stoneybrook and New York at the same time.

How will Stacey ever choose between her mom and her dad... again?

Things start off with Stacey walking home from school with Mallory, musing about how nice the seasons are in Stoneybrook. We then get a whole lot of introduction from Stacey about her life, living in New York, and subsequently how things are in Stoneybrook. Stacey goes home briefly to drop things off and check in with her mom before heading back to Mallory's to baby-sit. Mrs McGill has been looking for a job, since her father's money has to go to both an apartment in New York, their house in Stoneybrook, alimony and child support, and there just isn't enough to go around. Stacey notes that her mother looks exhausted, and assumes that it's because she's had so many interviews and things to prepare. Mrs McGill says she's fine, and just before Stacey leaves for her sitting job, she gets a phone call from her father: he's just been promoted to vice president of his company. There's going to be a big dinner party to honour him, and he wants Stacey to be his date. Stacey is thrilled, and can't wait to spend the weekend with her father.

The girls help Stacey find an outfit for Stacey. They go downtown, and stop at all the hot spots: Bellairs, Zingy's, Merry Go Round. Eventually Stacey finds an outfit in the least likely of places: Zingy's. Coming home, Stacey is very thrilled and can't wait to show her mom. She finds her mom resting on the couch however. Her mom brushes it off, saying that she's just tired, and encourages Stacey's outfit. Mrs McGill then mentions that she has an interview at Bellairs, which pleases Stacey to no end. Stacey is happy for both of her parents, and can't wait for the following weekend to go to dinner with her dad.

It's Monday, and Stacey is in the middle of an algebra test when she gets called down to the office. There, she finds out that her mother collapsed during a job interview, that her mother is in the hospital, and that Mrs Pike will be there shortly to pick her up. Stacey is all anxious, and when she gets to the hospital, she finds her mom lying on a gurney, waiting for medical treatment. They don't know what's wrong; Stacey assumes it's the flu, but Mrs McGill is pretty sure it's something more. Sure enough, they soon find out that Mrs. McGill has pneumonia. The good news is that she can recover at home, but the bad news is that she'll be pretty tired and out of it for awhile.

Stacey, wracked with worry and guilt, takes it upon herself to take care of her mother. She stays home from school on Tuesday to play nurse. Despite her mother's reassurances though, Stacey is worried about going to New York that weekend to be with her dad. Her father tells her that everything will be okay, that he can even arrange for a visiting nurse if Stacey wants. He then unintentionally guilt trips her, by telling her how much her going to New York and being his guest at the dinner in his honour means to him. This leaves Stacey torn, as she wants to be a good daughter, and be there for both parents. It's just added stress on top of what Stacey's already feeling regarding her mother's illness.

To make herself feel better, Stacey starts organizing a schedule of friends and neighbours, so that her mom will never be alone, and Stacey can still attend school. It works pretty well, and Stacey feels some sense of relief. However, she still can't decide what to do about her dad and his dinner. Eventually, she decides that she can't go. She calls him to let her know, and he's incredibly sad and disappointed. Stacey, stressed and guilt-ridden, snaps at him and says that he'd have other date options than her if he wasn't such a workaholic. They end the phone call on a pretty bad note.

The next day, Stacey decides that she can do a compromise: she can go to dinner Friday night with her dad, but then go back to be with her mom immediately Saturday morning, instead of being away for the whole weekend. She calls her dad with the news, and they're in the process of making arrangements for Friday night (he wants to hire a nurse, she wants to schedule more friends), when they're interrupted by a call from Mrs. McGill's doctor with the bloodwork. The good news is that Mrs McGill really does just simply have pneumonia. Stacey is in a rush, trying to pack, plan her mom's sitters, and take care of the house, when Mrs Pike comes over and helps out.

Friday, Stacey goes to New York to be with her dad. Of course, the train's delayed and there's traffic, so Stacey's already stressed mind is further compounded. The dinner is very extravagant, even more so than Stacey expected. There are a million courses, and speeches, and Stacey's introduced to all sorts of important people from her dad's company. By the time all the formal things are over, it's 10:30. Throughout the evening, Stacey keeps calling home to check in on her mom, and finally, Stacey can't take it anymore, and just wants to go to sleep so she can catch her train in the morning. Mr McGill is disappointed, as now that the formal things are over, the dancing and fun were to begin. However, Stacey is adamant about leaving, since she's catching such an early train in the morning.

In the morning, Mr McGill is less than thrilled about how everything went, and chastizes Stacey for being a terrible dinner date and being the first to leave a party in his honour. Stacey gets home, and finds Mrs Pike in a bad mood, as well as numerous neighbours and a visiting nurse. Turns out there was some scheduling issues. For the rest of Saturday, Stacey is stuck fielding people left and right. Finally, everything gets sorted out, everyone gets sent home, and Stacey has a chat with her mom, where she learns that she can't do everything herself and do be everything for everyone.

The subplot in this one is that the Pikes (and subsequently all their friends) discover the joys of mail-in rebates and other forms of mail orders. So they start buying all this really random stuff from the back of magazines and newspapers and other publications. Stuff like, a bust developer and a miracle needle-threader. Basically, they're just enamoured by the idea that they can get stuff for under 2$, so they get it all. When the stuff starts slowly arriving, the kids are even more excited to have their own mail, which spurs them to buy even more stuff. Eventually, the stuff starts arriving on masse. The kids soon discover that they each ordered "moondust", supposedly only 20 samples exist. The older kids realize that it's a scam, and slowly, they all realize that they've ordered a bunch of useless stuff that no one can use. They decide to put together a travelling show and sell everything to their neighbours.


Random Thoughts:
  • This one is one of my favourites. I've actually already re-read it recently (well, last year)!
  • I feel like Mrs McGill has been looking for a job for ever now. Didn't she look for a job before?
  • Stacey's outfit does not sound appropriate. Not particularly for a 13 year old, but especially not for a business dinner party: knee-length hot pink (fake) silk jacket, black leggings, pink and black socks, black bodysuit, black flats, and then some accessories.
  • This is the first time we hear about the Rosebud Cafe, the hot spot for all dates from this point forward.  It didn't even occur to me that we hadn't heard it mentioned at all until now. It's just so ubiquitous to me! But apparently it just opened.
  • I never did any mail-in things as a kid. Either they just weren't as mainstream in the mid-90s, or my family just didn't get enough magazines. But if I had known about them, you better believe I would have signed up for so many stupid dumb offers like the Pikes and their friends do!
    • Getting mail is REALLY exciting! I mean, when it's not bills or junk, which is what 99% of my mail is. It's one of the reasons why I love online shopping and monthly subscriptions and what not!
  • I love that Buddy wants to be like Arnold Schwarzenegger. I love these '90s references!
  • I find it weird that the office would call for Stacey over the classroom PA system, but I guess that makes sense. I'm pretty sure that's how they did it when I was in elementary school. I think by the time I got to high school though, they had switched to the in-house phone system, so they'd call the classroom, and there'd be some sense of privacy. It's definitely how they do it now.
  • Like Stacey, I love algebra and solving for X. It really is like a mystery!! I love logic puzzles and that kind of thing.
  • Man, poor Stacey. It's pretty scary when your parent gets sick, let alone when it's your only parent (in the immediate area) and you're an only child.
  • Ed is pretty good guy with regards to his ex-wife's health. However, he does lose some cool points for not being more understanding that his only teenage daughter might be more concerned and fearful about her only parent she's with 95% of the time.
  • There's a mistake in this one that says "Mary Anne's mother". They probably meant to write Dawn, or refer to Sharon her MA's stepmom.
  • There's some stuff that happens at the end of the book that really has no direct bearing on the plot:
    • Stacey had been worried about Sam losing interest in her when she was busy with her mom, but they end up planning a date in the end.
    • Stacey's mom gets the job at Bellairs.